When Motherhood made me see my childhood differently

I used to tell myself I had a “normal” childhood. I tucked away the hard parts, minimized the hurt, and convinced myself that everything I went through was fine—because that’s what I had to believe to keep moving forward.

But becoming a mother changed everything. Suddenly, I was looking at life through the eyes of my kids. I was faced with choices, moments, and responsibilities that made me stop and think: Why didn’t I have this? Why wasn’t I protected? Why did I have to grow up so fast?

And then it hit me—my childhood wasn’t what I thought it was. The things I brushed off as “normal” weren’t okay at all. The love I thought I had doesn’t look the same now. It feels like realizing your whole foundation was a lie. And when that foundation crumbles, you’re left asking: Who am I, really?

That realization shook me to my core. I felt lost—like the person I thought I was didn’t even exist anymore. That hits on the top ten list of hardest things I’ve had to deal with. It was a scary moment . But instead of letting that fear keep me stuck, I decided to do something different. I chose therapy.

Starting therapy was terrifying. It meant saying out loud the things I had buried for so long. I kept thinking maybe I’m wrong, maybe this therapist is going to tell me I’m over exaggerating, or Im being dramatic. But  the choice to go to therapy meant giving myself the chance to heal, to untangle the mess, and to start building a version of myself that feels real, honest, and whole.

Therapy was hard, it broke me down, but then it built me back up. I felt validated. There were so many moments of “ wow.. that makes so much sense”, realizing why I did the things I did or why I acted the way I acted.. it was a breath of fresh air.

Facing the truth is painful, yes…but it’s also the first step to freedom. So if you’ve been thinking about therapy I encourage you to take that leap. It won’t be easy.. but its beyond Worth it.